Back in the Body
by Base 2
Summary: COMPLETED! An unsuspecting journalist arrives at the castle many years after we last left our heroes. Riff Raff was right, Frank did remain on Earth in spirit. R&R, if you would be so kind.
1. Muddy Beginnings

**Back in the Body**

Disclaimer: I own Mina because she is my very own brainchild, even though her name has been stolen from Bram Stoker and his wonderful Dracula. I do not, however, own Frank or anything else RHPS. So there.

* * *

"For the sake of history," Mina said out loud to herself in answer to her silent question 'Why?'

The wind had picked up and Mina felt that she could have been wearing a cotton pillowcase for all the protection her coat was giving her from the rain. She could not feel her toes, and her fingers had officially reached Ice Age status. Mina was having a hard time convincing herself that history cared all that much about this crazy, abandoned Dracula castle in the middle of the countryside.

Fate seemed to be going out of its way to make it as difficult as possible for Mina to simply get to the damned place. First there had been the bum tire for which she did not have a spare, then tripping in that rut in the road and loosing her glasses in the dark and mud. She didn't need them that much, but still. Now what had previously been an irritating drizzle had become a full out storm. Mina had already been through her list of vicious swears several times and had been reduced to simply grumbling angrily.

After what felt like and eternity Mina suddenly came up against an imposing looking iron gate, open just a crack. Rust covered its surface and soggy vines clung to every inch. A large sign hung at an odd angle several feet from where Mina stood.

_Enter at your own risk!_

Mina clucked her tongue at the sign in an effort to make it feel ashamed of its ridiculous message. This place was totally harmless; it had been abandoned for at least twenty years, maybe more.

Still, Mina fumbled for her camera with slippery fingers and snapped a couple of pictures. She squeezed through the gate, glad that she did not have to try to rusted stiff hinges. She squelched through the mud up to the house itself, her patience thinning as she lost one of her shoes in the stuff. Luckily the door opened with little effort on her part, keeping her from becoming even more frustrated and becoming as dangerous as she was capable of being.

The room beyond was in shambles. Cobwebs ruled the place with an iron fist, their kingdom spreading from the limbs of fallen chairs to the elaborately carved wooden banister. Rats scurried across the floor in a desperate but futile attempt to get out of the place. Mina raised her camera again and took several pictures of the uninviting décor. She then proceeded to pick her way across the room to a door on the opposite end. At the very moment that her hand touched the doorknob, a strange sensation shot through her body, as though every vain in her had been injected with a warm, sugary milkshake, if milkshakes had been any good when warm. Because the sensation _was_ good; almost sexually so. She was left with a strange feeling in her head; dizzy, but at the same time very grounded.

"_Oh god, finally!_"

Mina jumped and spun around wildly, expecting some kind of ghost or demon. The room was empty. Her heart pounded in her throat. She had heard the voice speak as though it was right next to her, deep and nasal with a strong British accent. Her mind was screaming commands like "Run!" and "Get out of here!" interspersed with expletives Mina did not even know she had stored in her brain, but her feet did not respond.

"_Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you,_"

Mina was getting seriously freaked out now. Sure she had had some problems in her life, but nothing big enough to drive her insane to the point where she heard voices in her head. A frightening sound filled her ears, until she realized that it was an amused snickering.

"_Don't worry, you're not crazy. At least, I don't think so,_"

"Oh, thank you. So reassuring."

The laughing came back. Mina sighed.

"Yes, I'm sure this is very amusing for you, but I've got some things to deal with here, like _why I'm hearing British baritones in my head_."

Silence.

"Hello?" Mina said hopefully. Of course, she had been imagining it. Some vivid imagining, but she was in quite a state.

"_Yes, just waiting to see if you were done._"

Mina shook her head. "This is great. Just great. Would you mind getting out of my head? I have things to do."

"_I'm sure you do_."

Mina took several deep breaths to calm herself. Her temper sat constantly on the edge of exploding, and frustrating conversations with disembodies voices were not what she needed to keep a cool head.

"Ok, so if you aren't planning on _leaving me alone_, could you tell me just who the hell you are and why you're inside of me?"

More snickering. "_Oh, trust me, I'm not inside in nearly the way I would prefer to be_."

A disgusted look came onto Mina's face, but before she could respond the voice continued, "_But as to who I am, I am quite happy to explain. My name is Dr. Frank N. Furter. Frank, if you will. I used to live in this house, until some of my expertly laid plans went horribly wrong. Not my fault, allow me to mention. And that is about all I can explain without getting into a long and involved story which I'm in no mood to relive._"

"Frank N. Furter," Mina muttered to herself. "You've got to be kidding me. This is like some Science Fiction Picture Show."

"_You have no idea,_" said Frank.

* * *

So, there's the first chapter. I actually have a vague idea of where this one will go and the Muse is actually with me this time. I had no Muse for my other two stories, that's why I will never finish them. I mean, other stories? What other stories? I do not know of this "other stories" of which you speak. Leave me alone.

Oh, and just so you know, Riff and Magenta never got off the ground much farther than we saw in the movie. They crashed back down and proceeded to die. Just thought I'd tell you now 'cause I'm not sure I'll be able to explain it in the story.


	2. Something Unusual is Going on Here

**Back in the Body**

Disclaimer: I own Mina because she is my very own brainchild, even though her name has been stolen from Bram Stoker and his wonderful Dracula. I do not, however, own Frank or anything else RHPS. So there.

* * *

Mina's head was beginning to reel uncomfortably. Hearing actual voices in her head with British accents and full histories was not something she ever expected to have to deal with. 

"So, I don't suppose you have any plans of leaving me alone, do you?" She said. It seemed that talking to the voice was a good way to get information from it.

"_Honestly, if I could, I would. I know where my old body is, but it's probably not habitable by now. If I could find another one, perhaps, a fresh one…"_

Mina was lost. "Your _old body_? What are you talking about?"

Frank sighed. "_You may have noticed that the only body I am currently in is yours, and we're sharing it. No offense meant, but I would much prefer having a body of my own. The one I used the live in, the one I was born in, died quite a long time ago, probably about twenty years by now._"

"So you're suggesting I get you a new one?"

"_That's the idea, love._"

Mina shook her head. "I just don't believe this. I am not going to play Igor for some disembodied Frankenstein-"

"_Furter._" He corrected her.

"I'm making an analogy. Anyway, isn't there any other way for you to get out of me? I mean, you could be a ghost or something, I don't care I just want my mind back."

"_Well, there is a slight chance…" _Frank began.

"A slight chance of what? If this is an idea that doesn't involve me taking up a career in grave-digging, I'm all for it."

"_I was just going to say that one of my old inventions, the last one I made, might be able to re-animate my old body. That is, of course, if it still works…_"

"Sounds like a plan. Where is this invention?"

Frank was still talking to himself, "_Then again, there will only be a limited supply of power, five, maybe six seconds of functionality…_"

Mina became wary. This sounded like a good idea, in a world where British ghosts suddenly started talking to you in your head, but Frank seemed to be having doubts.

"What are you saying, that this won't work?"

"_Oh, it probably will. My inventions hardly ever malfunction, but we'll only have a short time to do the thing properly. You'll have to retrieve my body first._"

"Sounds great…" Mina mumbled.

"What is this room?" Mina said in awe. Frank had directed her to an impressive looking theatre-like room. Cobwebs had conquered this room just as thoroughly as the others, but Mina could see that under the filth the theatre was quite nice.

"_This… this is where it all ended…_" Frank said cryptically. His voice was soft and seemingly awe filled as well, but with an edge of resentment. "_Up there,_" he said, "_On the stage, that's where I am._"

Mina strode down the aisle towards the stage, scared but uncontrollably curious to see what Frank actually looked like. When she reached the edge of the platform, she stopped. Then she stared. She blinked. She stared some more.

"_Why didn't someone tell me my thighs were so big?_" Frank mused quietly to himself.

"_That's_ you?" Mina said, disbelievingly. "In the _corset_?"

"_Do you like it? I thought it looked a little cliché…_"

"You have got to be kidding me…" Mina muttered to herself. Dead, British, voice-in-her-head, and now transsexual. Mina hoped with all her might that she was dreaming.

"_Come on now, you've got to get my body up to the lab. Don't worry, there's an elevator, and I'm quite light._"

"Well, that solves all my problems, doesn't it?" said Mina sarcastically. "If this is me dreaming, I really need to see a shrink."

* * *

Ah. Chapter two. Such a fun milestone. What a liar I am. Glad it's over, though. I'm really, _really_ bad at keeping stories going. I mean, this is my first story. Ever. What other stories? I am a wonderfully faithful writer. Go away. (Don't really, I love my readers. Please review!)  



	3. Now with 100 percent more flashback!

**Disclaimer: **Well, Mina is the only part of this story that is mine, and she's not in this chapter, so I guess I don't own anything. Oh well. _Ain't got no home, ain't got no shoes. Ain't got no money, ain't got no class._

_Frank stared moodily at the greenish liquid in the beaker in front of him. It was his fifth minute of staring, and his thirtieth minute of moodiness. He was 99.9% sure that this concoction would work, but not being able to test it on anything worried him._

_For the umpteenth time Frank went over in his mind how he knew the potion and its counterpart, which he had already used, would work._

1. Substance A is absorbed into the woodwork of the house, creating the host area

2. I ingest Substance B, binding my life force to the host, AND giving my body an increased preservation time post mortum

3. Death is avoided at all costs

_It was a flawless plan, and step one had already been completed. Frank was only worried that step two might contradict step three. _Fuck, _he thought, _fuck.

_After about thirty more minutes of moody staring, Frank finally made up his mind. _The good outweighs the bad,_ he thought decidedly. He wished he was as sure as his thoughts. Picking up the beaker, Frank closed his eyes and downed the contents._

_

* * *

_

God, no! I'm too young! I'm too pretty! Death is not fun! _He was blind. He was deaf. He was in pain. He felt like his soul was being stretched across a mile, being pulled up and down with equally vicious force. Just when he thought he could not stand the agony any more, Frank was suddenly looking at his front door from inside the house. All of the furniture was strewn across the room, and most of it was broken. Dust covered everything, and a colony of spiders had built a very well planned civilization._

What the bloody hell..._ And then he remembered. This room was where he had created the 'host area'. _It worked, this definitely means it worked... fifteen years later, by the looks of things. Now, how do I get back to my body? _He paused in his thoughts as a crushing realization fell upon him. _Oh. Oh, shit. How _do _I get back to my body? I certainly didn't plan this out very well.

_The silence was deafening. A spider crawled very purposefully from one side of the room to the other. A slight breeze disturbed the thick layer of dust._

I didn't plan this out very well at all. Not at all.


	4. Nearly There

**Disclaimer**: Mina is the pen-incarnation of myself, and therefore my own, but RHPS was made before I was even conceived. Ew, ew. Born. Before I was born. Don't need to think about my conception. Eugh... (No offense, mom and dad.)

* * *

Mina looked around the brightly coloured room. Under a low balcony running from one side of the room to another was a large, red control panel taking up nearly an entire wall. From the doorway the various dials and switches looked quite legitimate. From the doorway. Upon closer inspection Mina noted labels including, but not limited to, "Transmorgiphier", "Mignumeter", and "Project 69D".

"So.. I'm guessing it's the one called 'Breath of Life alpha'."

"_Such a clever girl,_"

Mina released her grip from the arm she had been using to drag the not at all 'quite light' body through the house. Without looking down at the lifeless face, Mina approached the control panel.

"Ok, so... how does this work?"

"_Well, you do in fact need my body-_"

"Yes, I'd guessed. I'll get to that. How does it work?"

"_Do you see the tank in the middle of the room? Of course you do. You will place me into that tank, turn the wheel on the control panel, then twist the valves above the tank and touch my skin somewhere to "direct my soul", you might say. Then you wait._"

Mina raised an eyebrow to no one.

"That sounded a bit simple... up until the "direct the soul" part. How does it know not to take _my_ soul?"

"_Trust me._ _I did build the thing, darling._"

She sighed. _Of course_, she thought. "Well, let's get it over with."

She turned and walked back to the limp body on the ground where she had left it. She picked up an arm and continued to drag. At the edge of the tank she carefully positioned herself, then closed her eyes and lifted the body up and into the tank, dropping it once she was sure it would land inside.

"_Gently! I'd like everything to still be working when I get back in there._"

"Yeah, well..." Mina turned to the control panel again and located the wheel.

She knelt down beside it and began to turn. Sparks began to fly above the hanging unit with the mentioned valves on it. Mina stood and quickly approached the valves, turning the knobs to open each one, causing rainbow coloured something to begin to stream into the tank. She reached down and touched one finger to Frank's arm. _Here it comes..._ she thought. She prepared herself for some kind of mental pull, similar to the one she had felt when Frank's mind had entered her body.

Suddenly, it was dark. The sparks stopped. The rainbow stopped flowing. Mina pulled her hand away.

"What happened? It didn't work. I wanted it to work. Why didn't it work?"

"_Believe me, I'm just as mystified as you are. I think -_"

A loud crashing sound broke into the conversation, followed by an even louder crunching sound.

"What the _hell_ is that!" Mina yelled. She dashed out of the room and down a set of stairs next to the elevator she had used to come up. The noise grew louder as she reached the front door. She opened it and looked out. Her jaw dropped.

* * *

Yay, cliffhangers! I wanted to get this out to compensate for the long wait between chapters 2 and 3. This is probably the second to last chapter. In case anyone was wondering, "Mignumeter" is a reference to the ancient Greek word "mignumi" (transliterated, of course) meaning "I have / am having sex."

Yay, people getting references! How about: This one goes to 11... (No one ever seems to get that one. It saddens me.)


	5. Back in the Body

**Disclaimer**: Still, you know... not mine. None of it is mine, except for Mina. Too bad. Royalties would be really nice. I'm student-broke. That's not true; I'm in high school and my mom forwards money into my checking account.

* * *

To Mina's left running straight through a section of the house was a very large yellow bulldozer. Solving the mystery of the power outage, still crackling wires hung around the bulldozer.

"_Good god! Get away from my home... my... 'Cause I've seen blue skies, through the tears in my eyes, and I realize... I'm going home..._"

"What the hell?! Are you singing?!"

"_Cards for sorrow, cards for pain..._"

"Jesus Christ..."

Mina ran through the mud to the bulldozer, shouting.

"Hey! Hey! Excuse me, hey!"

When she got close enough, Mina saw the man in the bulldozer turning to watch her.

"Yes, hey, excuse me, hello," she said. "Would you mind not destroying this house? I'm kind of in the middle of something."

The man looked at her blankly. "Sorry, lady. The plans have been on display for months."

"Yeah, well, I'm doing a story here. I'm a reporter. Could it wait?"

He pushed up his hard hat and scratched his head absent-mindedly. "Sorry," he said again, "You could write about the demolition, I guess."

Mina clenched her fists. It took a quite a lot of effort to keep her clenched fists at her sides instead of in the construction worker's face. With an incredible lack of fury she growled "Look. I only need like ten, no, five minutes and then you can destroy the house to your heart's content. If you could just back up a little, I'll turn on auxiliary power, go inside, and come out when I'm done. Ok? Real quick. Please?"

The man switched to scratching his chin, somewhat less absent-mindedly. "Well," he said slowly, "I guess I'm not really on too tight a schedule... You'll really be fast?"

"Absolutely! Fast like a monkey on steroids. Now, back up, if you would be so kind."

"_What ever happened to Fay Wray? That delicate, satin draped frame..._"

The bulldozer slowly began to back out of the hole it had created in the house. "Thank you!" Mina shouted over the noise. She ran into the hole and spotted a grey box on the wall. She pulled open the door on the box, relieved that it wasn't locked. She looked only briefly at the control panel before finding the right switch. _Auxiliary Power: 2nd floor_. She flipped it to "On". Several reassuring and slightly frightening sparks flew at Mina's face. "Ok, it's on." she said.

Mina turned on her soaked, muddy, shoeless heel and did some more running out of the house and back around to the front door. Once she had regained her bearings she rushed through the house, up the stairs, and into the room where Frank's body lay, still lifeless, in the bottom of a now damp and rainbow coloured tub. She stopped just short of the control wall and leaned against it, breathing heavily.

"Ok... here... we go..." Tiredly she knelt down and used all her remaining strength to turn the wheel once more. Regaining her breath, Mina made her way over to the tub again. She touched a finger to Frank's arm.

"_Give yourself over to absolute pleasure,_"

"Come one... work!"

"_Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh,_"

"Work!"

"_Erotic... any... and..._"

"Yes!"

"_Forev-..._"

Silence. Mina stood perfectly still. She waited. She watched. She listened. Complete silence. "Yes." She leaned into the tank and poked Frank on the shoulder.

"Hey. Hey! Wake up, we've got to go. Come on!"

Suddenly the shoulder twitched. Mina jumped back then remembered that this was a good sign and returned to the tub. Frank's eyes flickered open.

"Hello, there," he said weakly.

Mina smiled. "Ok! Let's go."

"Bit of a problem there, actually. I'm having a little trouble moving my limbs at the moment."

The smile vanished. "You're kidding," said Mina flatly. "You must be kidding. If you are not kidding then I will be very, very sad."

"Don't worry. I'm _very_ good at cheering people up," He grinned wryly.

Mina groaned. "Great. Just great." She leaned into the tank again and tugged on Frank's arm. When she had gotten him out she held him around the waist next to her, in an attempt to encourage him to walk. "_Jesus!_" she said. "How heavy is a soul anyway? Now, don't you feel shy about telling me when you're ready to walk on your own."

"You'll be the first to know, love,"

* * *

Ok! I lied. This is actually the second to last chapter. Jeeze, I might actually finish a story, here. That'll be weird. And just so you know, I had exactly 0 days, 0 hours, and 0 minutes to proof-read this, so excuse it's horrible badness. Anyway, after I finish this I will return to my completely un-thought out POTO fic. Please read it! It's very good! Er, so I've been told. _Sparkling grey, the my own veins; any more than a whisper, any sudden movement of my heart, and I know. I know, I'll have to watch them pass away._


	6. Muddy Endings or Come take a shower

**Disclaimer: **I wonder two things. First, do these little disclaimers actually count as legal statements? And second, who the hell would arrest someone for posting on In any case, it's still, _still_ not mine.

**More relevant disclaimer: **I wrote this in an incredible rush, so please excuse any horrible writing, spelling, and/or plot holes.

* * *

"Thanks for waiting, um... construction guy,"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, no problem. Hey, what's wrong with your friend over there?" The man nodded towards Frank.

"Oh, him. He kind of likes to lie in the mud and mumble and twitch sometimes. Don't worry about him."

"Are you sure? I think he's started crying,"

Mina looked over again. Frank was now shuddering with quiet sobs, mumbling things like "Ground.. real ground... and I can _feel it_..." and "Wonderful... just wonderful. If only I could move..." Mina shook her head pityingly.

"No, no. He's just had an, ah, experience. Anyway, thanks a bunch. Have a wonderful life filled with sunshine and smiles." And with that Mina turned and walked purposefully to Frank. He had sat up now and was contemplating the mud on the ground before him.

"You never really appreciate things like dirt until you spend twenty odd years hardly able to see it, let alone feel it."

"Yes, and cover yourself in it. You look frightful."

"Do I? Well, once in fifty years is hardly something to fret over,"

Mina grinned. Yeah, this was definitely Frank. Suddenly she remembered. "Um, Frank, your house..."

"Yes," he said, standing up. "I don't think I could live there anymore anyway. I've died once in that house, I'm not so keen on doing it again."

"Yeah, okay." Mina crossed her arms. Mina uncrossed her arms. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Frank watched her with mild interest.

"Ah, so... yeah," she said lamely. "Uh, so I guess you don't really, ah, have anywhere to, you know... go, or whatever..."

"Darling, is there something you're trying to ask me?" he was smirking to the highest degree.

"Ok, ok. Doyouwanttostaywithmeuntilyougetbackonyourfeet?" She said it one breath. "There, I said it." She paused. "So? Or, even just to get you some new clothes, maybe a haircut..."

"Why, my dear, I'm quite touched! And no, I think I'll manage, yes, new clothes might be nice if I'm to enter Earth society, and. My hair. Is. Fine."

Mina actually laughed out loud. "Alright, alright. At least come back to my apartment to take a shower. Please."

Frank smiled. "I would love to,"

"Good. Now, come on. Lets get you cleaned up."

* * *

This is perhaps almost definitely what might be the final chapter, maybe. There may or may not be more... this decade. I'm going to try to finish my POTO fic. Good ending? Bad ending? Only ending I've ever written, apart from "Soon they were running down the fresh spring paths." in 5th grade. Oh gods. Please review!!! I need fan support. I'm a very insecure person without the approval of others. Tee hee. 


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